Unspoken Words
by elfgrl15
Summary: What happens when you can't tell the one you love that you love them?  One shot, one chapter.


His breathing was growing shorter, softer, and shallower by the moment. The heart monitor next to the hospital bed was starting to slow it melodic blips as he started slipping. Yet, he couldn't help a slight smile. The one he had loved so long was now by his side, and that was all he needed. He had never admitted his love, and now he never could. But as long as his beloved was happy, than he was happy. As his eyes drifted closed and blackness overtook him, Vash gave Roderich's hand a final, weak squeeze.

Only from a distance had Vash ever gazed and loved Roderich. The one he longed for had already been claimed by his cousin Ludwig after all, and Roderich was happy that way. Vash simply kept his love to himself and watched over Roderich whenever he could, ever protective despite not being prominent in Roderich's romantic life. It wasn't until Gilbert found out, that thing spiraled down out of Vash's control.

"I've seen the way you look at my cousin!" Gilbert said one day when he went to Vash's house. "You really think you can hide that!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Vash replied calmly. "Roderich is just an old friend of mine, nothing more."

"Don't play dumb with me half pint! I know this is a huge secret of yours and if you don't want me to leak it out to the wrong people, than you should listen and do whatever I say, got it?" Gilbert's words fell like poison from his mouth. Vash didn't want to ruin Roderich's happiness, no matter what he had to suffer to make that possible.

Vash didn't know it at the time, but what Gilbert wanted, was what he most loathed to give. It wasn't money, weapons or anything material. The Prussian wanted him. Every weekend it became like clockwork. Gilbert would come over, force Vash upstairs and into the bedroom, beat him within an inch of his life, then have rough, bloody sex with the smaller nation. Each time it happened, Vash felt dirtier. No amount of soap or showers would ever wash off how filthy he felt for giving himself to someone other than the man he loved, but in his eyes, it was worth it.

"Big brother, are you alright?" his little sister finally asked one day. "You haven't been eating well…"

"I'm just fine…just stressed from work, that's all…" he said in reply. As he turned away, a slight bruise could be seen poking above his collar.

"B-Big brother, where did you get that…?" Her eyes widened slightly, having always suspected foul play happening in the house.

"Get what?" he asked nonchalantly, trying to keep his cool exterior but fighting back panic on the inside.

"Th-that bruise! It's right on the side of your neck!"

"Oh, that…I hit my neck on the dresser when I went to pick up something I dropped, it's nothing…" Vash hurried away before she could open her mouth again to interrogate him further, not wanting his sister to see his shame and humiliation.

It was obviously becoming harder and harder to hide the symptoms of his weakly beatings. Soon Vash had to resort to using cover up to hide the cuts and bruises, but nothing could hide his fatigue. Vash began spending more and more time in his room trying to sleep off the pain and exhaustion. His emerald eyes were becoming duller and more listless by the day.

Months passed before he finally couldn't take anymore. It had been six months since Gilbert had started his violent sex escapade, and Vash's body was at its breaking point. The pair were in the middle of a vicious session of S&M when Gilbert finally hit too hard.

Gilbert was in his skimpy leather police uniform, while Vash's beaten and bloody body was only in a small chain-linked thong. Gilbert had already used small knives to carve into Vash's body, but that wasn't enough for him. The Prussian decided it was a good time to use his knight stick and make the Swiss beg for it to end. He swung a few times, landing harsh blows to Vash's back before hitting him in the side and head. Neither of them knew it at the time, but the smack to Vash's head was a fatal hit.

The next day, Vash couldn't get out of bed. He felt sick, dizzy, and lethargic, more so than usual after the rough rounds of sex. Time felt like it was crawling by. At noon, his sister finally came up to check on him, only to find her brother struggling to breathe and unable to wake up. Panic struck her and she quickly called an ambulance to take him to the hospital before contacting the one other person she knew that Vash trusted.

It was hours before Vash finally opened his eyes, but found himself unable to talk. He slowly turned his head to see the white hospital room void of anyone except Roderich, the man he loved, sitting next to the bed and gently holding his hand.

"Vash, you've finally opened your eyes…" Roderich's voice was relieved, but his face told a different story. "You're hurt very badly Vash…the doctor says you have bad brain damage, you can't breathe on your own anymore…"

Vash could hardly believe what Roderich was saying, finally realizing that the reason he couldn't speak was that he had a large breathing tube inserted into his throat. All of the abuse had finally taken its toll, and it was costing him his life.

"The doctor also told us that your entire body is covered in wounds, like you'd been beaten…most of those wounds were old, months old…why didn't you tell someone Vash?" Roderich's eyes looked confused and worried for his lifelong friend, but he knew things were about to get worse. Vash simply shook his head slightly after a moment, and Roderich continued. "I was requested to ask this of you, but I don't like it. Since you can't breathe on your own…the doctor wanted me to ask how long you want to be kept this way…"

Vash watched him a moment with his now dark, dull eyes before motioning to the calendar on the opposite wall. Roderich hesitated a moment before getting up and retrieving it from the wall, bringing it to him.

"Today is the 18th…just motion to when you desire…" Roderich watched as Vash weakly motioned to the very next day, a sad smile creasing his face. "Tomorrow, huh? I can't say I blame your decision…but, that will be a very sad day…"

The next day came faster than they all wanted, but Vash got his wish. He was given the anesthesia to help him drift off before the breathing tube was removed. Vash died with the man he loved by his side, happy he could share a momentous time with Roderich, even if that moment was the final breath that escaped his body.


End file.
